Journal #4 - Chapters 10-12 - Perspective: Calpurnia

Now that Jem was getting older and his moods changed a lot, he was being rude to Scout was always offending her. Jem was always cantankerous with whatever Scout said. I told Scout to come in the kitchen with me because she needs to be more girly and I wanted to talk to her about what was bothering her. She missed Dill and he wasn’t coming that summer because he has a new father so he just sent Scout a letter and a snapshot and told her that as soon as he got the money he will go to Maycomb to marry her when they are older and he would love her forever. I thought that was so sweet of Dill. Since Atticus was going out of town I thought that I should take the kids to my church. I cleaned the kids up very well. I bathed Scout and I tried to make everything perfect. I cleaned them twice and picked out a nice outfit for church. We were ready to go to church.

We walked in the church like we were famous. Everybody looked at me differently and weird because I had two white children with me so it wasn’t inconspicuous. Then Lula came up behind me and asked me why I brought white children to our church so I told her that Jem and Scout were my company. Then I went all nigger talk on her because she was making me mad and I had nothing else to do so I said, “Stop right there, nigger.” She asked me why I brought them to our church if they got their own white church and I told her that we all worship the same god so race doesn’t matter. So Jem and Scout wanted to leave because they felt unwanted and that’s not where they wanted to be and they didn’t wanted to be hated in church. But I don’t see why she cared so much if it didn’t bother anybody else. Jem and Scout were wondering why Lula had to contradict their race. So my oldest son Zeebo came up to Jem and Scout and he said, “We’re mighty glad to have ya’ll here, don’t listen to Lula.” So we stayed at the church and our Reverend Sykes welcomed us and we started singing then we sat down while he preached. I don’t think Jem and Scout were used to our church because they looked lost and they wanted to know where they hymn books were but we didn’t have any. After the church service was over Reverend Sykes wanted to make a few announcements which included raising 10 dollars total for Helen [Tom’s wife]. So we all gave some dimes and the people without kids gave more. Jem and Scout kept asking questions about why Helen needed money and where her kids were and about how she was struggling. They were just talking to Reverend Sykes for like 45 minutes but they were not inaudible and I was just talking with my son Zeebo.

When we got home, I was talking to Jem and Scout and I told them a little bit more about the case and I wanted them to understand the truth about the Ewell’s and I told them what happened with Tom. I told Jem and Scout that they had to ask Atticus what rape was because they asked me. I also thought they were so curious about finding out about the colored and white folks. I started telling Jem and Scout about Zeebo and how I used to teach him how to read by the bible and one other book and I also taught Scout and Jem how to read as well. Scout and Jem started asking me about my age. They thought that I was contemporaries as Atticus. So I just told them around Christmas. “Back then, we colored folks never kept track of what day we were born.” They wanted to know why I was talking different in church and I told them I was black but it was hard for me to explain to them that you have to live double lives sometimes and act different around certain people. They told me that I shouldn’t have to act like two different people and that I should just be myself. Then Scout and Jem wanted to come to my house and I said sure and I am looking forward to seeing them visit me at my house.