Journal #3 - Chapters 8-9 - Perspective: Scout

I was upset when Atticus said that I wasn’t allowed to fight because it was getting childish and he thought you can never settle anything problems with fighting. I was concerned about why Atticus defends niggers so I asked him about that and he said, “Of course I do and don’t say nigger.” I was just using that word because everybody else at school says it so I’m thinking that it’s not a bad word. I guess I sort of understood what Atticus was talking about when he told me about defending another nigger but not because of his skin color but because of numerous reasons that had to do with court and a close friend of Calpurnia’s and what not. Atticus was just telling me how people will make fun of me at school and other places because he is a lawyer but all I can do is hold my head up high and leave my fists to the side because he doesn’t want me to get in anymore trouble.

Later on, Atticus told me that we were going to face a lot of hatred and racial comments but the best thing to do is to walk away. So when Cecil Jacobs met me at the schoolyard he was trying to start something with me and I told him to take back what he said about Atticus was a disgrace and since he was a nigger he should hang from a water tank that just pissed me off and I was red and sweaty about to go crazy and beat that kid up but I remembered what Atticus had said about not getting into fights so I put this whole thing behind me and I was the bigger person and so I just walked away. Then Christmas was coming up so we had to go to our Uncle Jack Finch’s house. The whole family was there; it was Aunt Alexandra (Atticus’s sister) and her husband Uncle Jimmy with their son Francis who is so boring and annoying! Atticus was just telling me about all of there childhoods and the good times. After dinner, Uncle Jack confronted me about how I cuss a lot and how it was unnecessary to use in his house. He said I can’t use them unless extreme provocation is involved. The next we were just playing around and talking then Francis comes in the picture and he wants me to hang out with him and chill.

Francis gets on my nerves because he can get irritating sometimes and play too much. So we just talk about stuff and about Dill. He always has something negative to say about Dill and he thinks he knows all about Dill when he really doesn’t know anything. Then we were just talking until he starts talking about Atticus. I can’t believe that Francis had the nerve to say that Atticus is a “nigger lover” and he ruined the family so they can’t be seen in public anymore. That made me want to knock the air out of him because he had no right to say that and he said supposedly his grandma told him that. I told him to take it back but he didn’t want to and he thought I was playing around so I got mad and I was chasing him to yell at him and beat him up but then his grandma came and he tried to blame me saying I locked him up in the kitchen when I was just standing and I got yelled at when I was the ingenuous one. Now I was furious because he took it too far and as soon as I got a hold of him I beat him up and when Atticus, Uncle Jack and the rest of the family came outside they had to isolate me from Francis and they were very disappointed in me because they thought that I started this whole thing and it was Francis but nobody wanted to hear my side of the story and his grandma went to go baby him. Uncle Jack stared at me and he looked perplexed. I had to leave to go back to my house because I was in so much trouble! I didn’t even say anything else to anybody so I just went into the car and just sat there quietly until we got home. I ran to my room without saying a word. Uncle Jack came into my room and tried to talk to me but I was still mad but then he got me to talk so I told him everything that happened because I wanted to make sure Francis got his punishment for what he said. Uncle Jack almost told Atticus everything but I made him promise to not say a word.

After that, Atticus and Uncle Jack were adjacent from each other just talking about me in a good way and they didn’t realize I was upstairs listening to every word they were saying. I’m glad I had that talk with Uncle Jack because he told me right from wrong and how I should be more lady like and stop all this but he also realized that I had a right to get mad at Francis because that just wasn’t acceptable and just rude so he agreed with me but he also didn’t want to debate with Aunt Alexandra about Francis right then he had to wait a little because that was just out control and he didn’t want Atticus to suspect something was up.